New York Child Custody Mediation

Child custody is one of the most important and emotionally charged issues in any divorce or separation. Parents often disagree on what arrangement is in the best interest of their children. While court battles over child custody can be lengthy and costly, mediation offers a more efficient and cooperative alternative. In New York, child custody mediation provides parents with a chance to work together with the help of a neutral third party to come to an agreement on custody and visitation arrangements. The goal of this process is to reach an arrangement that both parents can agree on, which is also in the best interest of the child.

Child custody mediation in New York is a type of alternative dispute resolution that involves a trained mediator who works with both parents to help them negotiate a custody arrangement that they both find acceptable.

In New York, DRL § 240 authorizes mediation as an option for resolving child custody disputes. Specifically, DRL § 240(1-b) encourages the use of mediation in custody and visitation cases by allowing Family Court judges to refer parents to mediation services when there is a dispute over custody or visitation. The law allows for a mediator, often a trained professional, to help the parents come to an agreement regarding child custody, visitation, and other related matters without the need for a trial.

The mediator does not make decisions for the parents, but helps guide the discussion by asking questions, providing suggestions, and ensuring both parties are heard. Mediation is voluntary and confidential, allowing parents to discuss their concerns openly in a private setting. It is also typically faster and less expensive than going to court.

In New York, child custody is determined based on what is in the best interest of the child. This can include a variety of factors such as the child's age, health, emotional needs, and the ability of each parent to care for the child. The court may order mediation if parents cannot reach an agreement, or the parents may choose mediation voluntarily. Regardless of the situation, mediation allows the parents to have more control over the decision-making process and can help reduce conflict between them.

Child custody mediation is typically voluntary in New York, but Family Court judges have the authority to order it. In some cases, divorce decrees even require that child custody disputes must go before a mediator before a court will hear them. For example, in Jennifer R. v. Lauren B., 2020 N.Y. Slip Op. 20094 (N.Y. Fam. Ct. 2020), the court addressed a dispute between Jennifer M. R. (Mother) and Lauren M. B. (Ex-Wife) over custody of their child. The Mother sought to modify the divorce judgment and obtain sole custody. However, the court found that the Mother had failed to comply with the mediation requirement outlined in the divorce judgment. The agreement had stipulated that both parents must first engage a mediator to resolve custody disputes. Since the Mother did not attempt mediation, the court denied her request for sole custody and ordered the immediate return of the child to the Ex-Wife, in accordance with the agreed-upon parenting schedule. The court emphasized the importance of following the mediation process as set forth in the settlement agreement.

1. Initial Consultation: The first step in child custody mediation is the initial consultation. During this meeting, the mediator explains the mediation process, the rules of confidentiality, and the expectations for each party. The mediator will also gather some basic information about the family situation, including the child’s age, health, and any current custody arrangements. This is the time for parents to ask questions and to make sure they understand the process.

2. Identifying Issues: Once both parents have a clear understanding of the mediation process, the next step is to identify the key issues that need to be resolved. These can include legal custody (who has the right to make major decisions about the child’s welfare), physical custody (where the child will live), visitation schedules, and how to share responsibilities for the child’s needs. This step allows the mediator to focus on the specific points that need to be discussed.

3. Facilitating Discussions: The mediator will facilitate discussions between the parents. The goal is to keep the conversation focused on the child’s needs and ensure both parents have the opportunity to express their concerns. The mediator may suggest different approaches or solutions, but the final decision remains in the hands of the parents. The mediator works to keep the conversation productive and help parents find common ground.

4. Negotiating a Custody Agreement: As discussions continue, the mediator will help the parents negotiate a child custody agreement that works for both of them. In many cases, the parents can agree on a custody arrangement during mediation. The mediator may propose different options, including joint custody arrangements, sole custody with visitation rights for the non-custodial parent, or other variations based on the family’s specific needs.

5. Drafting the Agreement: Once an agreement has been reached, the mediator will help draft a formal custody agreement. This agreement outlines the terms of custody, visitation schedules, decision-making responsibilities, and any other relevant details. The agreement will be signed by both parents and can be submitted to the court for approval. Once approved by the court, the agreement becomes legally binding.

6. Finalization: After the agreement is signed, it is submitted to the Family Court in the county where the child resides for review. For example, if the child lives in Nassau County, the agreement would be filed with the Nassau County Family Court, located at:

Nassau County Family Court
1200 Old Country Road
Westbury, NY 11590

If the court determines that the agreement is in the best interest of the child, it will be approved, and the custody arrangement will be final. If the parents are unable to reach an agreement during mediation, they may proceed to court, where a judge will make the final determination.

There are many reasons why parents consider mediation instead of going to court. One of the main benefits of mediation is that it is a more collaborative process. In mediation, the goal is for both parents to work together to find a solution. This contrasts with litigation, where each parent presents their case, and the judge makes the final decision.

Mediation can also be less expensive and faster than litigation. Court battles can drag on for months or even years, leading to high legal fees. In contrast, mediation is usually completed in a matter of weeks or months, and the costs are generally lower. By resolving the issue in mediation, parents can avoid the added financial burden of a lengthy trial.

Another key benefit of mediation is that it provides parents with more control over the outcome. In a court proceeding, a judge makes the decision for the parents, but in mediation, the parents themselves decide on the terms of the custody arrangement. This can lead to more flexible and personalized solutions that meet the needs of both parents and children.

Mediation also tends to be less adversarial than going to court. Divorce and child custody cases can be emotionally charged, and court proceedings can increase the level of conflict between parents. Mediation encourages cooperation and communication, which can help reduce hostility and make co-parenting easier in the future.

Lastly, mediation provides parents with the opportunity to create a parenting plan that works best for their family. By discussing the child’s needs and the family’s unique circumstances, parents can create an arrangement that is more tailored to their situation than what might be decided in a courtroom.

Child custody mediation is most effective when both parents are willing to cooperate and focus on the child’s best interests. If both parties can communicate effectively and are committed to finding a solution outside of court, mediation is a good choice. It is especially helpful when parents have minor children and need to make long-term decisions about custody and visitation.

However, mediation may not be the best choice in every situation. If there is a history of abuse, domestic violence, or if one parent is unwilling to cooperate, mediation may not be effective. In these cases, it may be necessary to go to court to resolve the custody dispute. Similarly, if one parent is hiding assets or not being honest, litigation may be a better option to ensure fairness.

In addition, if the issue has already been resolved by court after giving appropriate consideration to what’s in the best interests of the child, the court deem mediation inappropriate. For example, in Giraldo v. Gomez, 852 N.Y.S.2d 842 (N.Y. App. Div. 2008), the Appellate Division determined that mediation was not justified because the court had already properly considered the child's best interests in its determination regarding the relocation request and had made its decision based on those factors. Mediation, which is typically used to resolve disputes or reach agreements between parties, was not necessary after the court had already made a decision based on the facts and legal standards in place.

If you are unsure whether mediation is the right approach for your child custody case, it is a good idea to consult with an experienced New York child custody mediator. A mediator can assess your situation, help you understand your options, and guide you through the decision-making process.

An experienced New York child custody mediator can help ensure the process goes smoothly. They can provide information on the laws that apply to your case, explain your rights, and help you develop a solution that is in the best interest of the child. A mediator’s job is to be neutral and help both parties communicate effectively, not to take sides. This makes it easier for parents to discuss difficult issues in a controlled and constructive environment.

A skilled mediator will work to help parents understand each other's viewpoints and find common ground. They can help prevent discussions from becoming too heated or emotional, which often happens during a contentious custody dispute. The mediator will also ensure that any agreement made is legally sound and addresses the needs of both parents and the child.

If you are considering child custody mediation, it is important to contact an experienced child custody mediator serving New York who can guide you through the process and help you make informed decisions.

At Stephen Bilkis & Associates, we have extensive experience handling child custody cases in New York. Our team of skilled New York child custody mediators and attorneys can help you assess whether mediation is the right choice for your situation. We will work with you to ensure that your rights are protected and that any agreement reached is fair and in the best interest of your child. Contact us at 800.696.9529 to schedule a free, no obligation consultation regarding your case. We represent clients in the following locations: Nassau County, Queens, Bronx, Brooklyn, Long Island, Manhattan, Staten Island, Suffolk County and Westchester County. Our team is ready to provide the legal guidance and support you need to navigate the child custody process and achieve the best possible outcome for your family.